When a teenager cannot get to sleep and struggles to wake, “just go to bed earlier” may not feel like much help. Sleep involves the school day, travel, workload, worries and the evening environment. Start with how the young person experiences the problem rather than treating tiredness as a character flaw.
Ask what is happening, not only when they switch off
Do they feel sleepy late, lie awake worrying or keep working because homework has run into the evening? Is the room noisy or uncomfortable? Ask what they would like to be different about mornings or daytime energy.
Evelina London’s teenage sleep guidance explains that the body clock can shift later during adolescence. Its advice includes consistent sleep and wake times, daylight and a calm wind-down. This helps frame a supportive conversation without assuming every difficulty has the same cause.
Look at the demands around bedtime
Map a normal evening together. If homework, caring responsibilities, activities and travel fill every hour, a new bedtime rule may not address the underlying pressure. Look for an adult decision that could help, such as speaking with school about an unmanageable workload.
Make space for their view. “What is the hardest part of winding down?” may produce more useful information than starting with a lecture about phones. Screens can be part of the picture without being the only thing worth discussing.
Choose a change both of you can explain
You might agree a predictable time to finish stimulating activities, a quieter household period or a charging place outside the bedroom. If the phone is also an alarm or accessibility tool, work out a suitable alternative before changing access.
Try a short period of a calmer, screen-free wind-down, with an activity the teenager actually finds restful. The NHS sleep guidance linked above recommends stopping phone or tablet use at least an hour before bed. Treat the routine as something to work towards together, and consider how adult habits support it.
Review without turning sleep into a score
After a week or two, ask whether the change made winding down or waking easier. Keep notes brief if they help. If it has not helped, discuss what got in the way rather than adding more rules automatically.
Persistent sleep difficulty, marked daytime sleepiness or concerns such as snoring or breathing pauses deserve professional advice. Speak with a GP or school nurse. Do not use supplements or medicines as a routine shortcut without professional guidance. A shared plan can support sleep habits, but it is not a diagnosis or treatment for a sleep disorder.
Put it into practice
Use our free resource: Teen sleep: our one-change experiment to choose a small next step. Keep the parts that suit your family and adapt the rest.
