Asking for help can feel easier when your teenager knows who they want to speak to, what they want to ask and what to do next. You can help them make that plan together.
Ask what would make tomorrow easier
Start with a specific moment, such as walking into a class after missing work or trying to hear instructions in a noisy room. ‘What part would you like help with?’ gives your teenager a smaller question to answer. If they’re unsure, offer two possibilities and let them add their own.
Let them choose who to approach
They might choose a form tutor, a subject teacher or a member of the pastoral team. Ask who feels easiest to talk to and when that person might have a quiet moment. Offer to rehearse, help with a message or attend the conversation if they want you there.
Put one request into words
A short message is enough. ‘I’m getting stuck when I try to catch up on the work I missed. Could you tell me which task to start with?’ If it’s easier to write than speak, they could send the message using the school’s usual contact route or hand the adult a note.
Agree what happens after asking
Write down the next step and when to check whether it helped. If there’s no reply or the first suggestion doesn’t help, agree who else to approach. If your teenager tells you they feel unsafe, help them tell an adult who can act promptly.
More support is available from YoungMinds’ advice on problems at school.
